Icha Icha All the Way!
by rowanashke
Summary: Kakashi's dating Iruka. Asuma's dating Shikamaru. Both think the other's boyfriend is hot. They get drunk. An evil plan is born... takes a deep breath AsuIruKakaShika. First request ficcie. Read my profile for more info on that. Major lemons, yaoi.


Alrighty! First request ficcie! And it had to be a doozy, I guess. Couldn't be an easy one, noooo. n.n This goes out to IruKakaMakesMeSmile. Evil thing you. But you did review EVERY one of my stories, so I guess you earned it. LMAO. Got a request? Read my profile for info, k? Enjoy!

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"Another one?"

Kakashi peered in slightly drunken though at his now-empty beer bottle. Asuma, also slightly drunk, waited patiently for Kakashi to decide whether he wanted another one or not.

Finally, Kakashi nodded. "Yeah, why not. I'll take another."

Asuma signaled the bartender and leaned on his elbows, grinning at Kakashi. "So. Back to our discussion. I still think that Neji's hotter than Kiba."

"No way." Kakashi shook his head. "I mean, I'm not putting Neji down at all, but damn. That dog boy just…oozes sex appeal."

Asuma grinned. "But, oh-those delicate, pale hands and those fabulous silver eyes…"

Kakashi just laughed. Asuma shrugged. "Next…Ibiki or Guy?"

"Ugh." Kakashi gave him a long, disgusted look. "You have to be kidding." 

"Nope. That's your choices."

"Mmmmm…" Kakashi pondered. "I guess then…Ibiki. I'm not sure I could touch Guy's green jumpsuit without gloves and mask."

"I dunno." Asuma grinned. "He certainly has a certain…something."

"Mmm. Kakashi shook his head, then accepted the bottle from the bartender. "Moving on. Uhm…Iruka or…Shikamaru?"

Asuma laughed. "Not really a fair question, Kakashi. I'm dating Shikamaru, you're dating Iruka. Sort of have to stand up for our lovers."

"Still." Kakashi took a swig of beer, his expression growing distant. "Shika's pretty fucking hot."

"Yeah. So is Iruka." Asuma finished his beer and set it with great deliberation on the counter. "That delicious-looking caramel skin, those damn deep brown eyes…"

"Hmm. Shika's got those wicked blue ones, and perfectly smooth, silky-looking skin." Kakashi grinned. "Not to mention that perfectly toned, still youthful-slender body of his…"

"Mmm." Asuma waved to the bartender and grinned at Kakashi again. "Yeah. And Iruka's got that softly sculpted, deceptively rounded ass…"

Kakashi laughed. "Too bad we can't just swap for the night."

Asuma chuckled. "Shika might go for it…you're pretty fuckin hot yourself, oh copy-ninja. But I don't think Iruka would be really happy with it."

"Oh, I don't know." Kakashi had a mischievous look in his eye. "Ruka's kinkier than his innocent sensei act leads you to believe. However…" Kakashi's eye crinkled. "What I'd really, really love is to see them both at the same time."

"What, like…a foursome?" Asuma grinned incredulously at Kakashi. "No way. I'm not sure even Shika would go for that."

"What if we didn't tell them, and we tricked them into it?" Kakashi leaned on the bar, giving Asuma a long stare. "Set it up and eased them into it."

"How the hell would we do that?" Asuma demanded.

Kakashi gestured. "Come closer for a moment…"

…

Iruka sighed and dumped another stack of papers on the table. Shikamaru looked up from his own stack, a look of profound disgust rippling across his usually stoic face.

"You've got to be kidding." Shikamaru glared at the papers as if he possessed some kind of eye-flame-shooting-homework-disintegrating jutsu.

Iruka wished devoutly_ he_ possessed such a thing.

"No." Iruka sighed and sank down, staring at the pile glumly. "But that's it. There's no more in the boxes."

"Who thought this would be a good idea?" Shika snarled, grabbing a paper off the pile.

"The Lady Hokage." Iruka yawned and stretched. "This was her fau…I mean…her idea."

They exchanged a disgusted look.

Shikamaru followed Iruka's example and stretched, yawning. "Man. I need coffee. You have any?"

"Yeah. I could use some too. I'll make a pot."

Iruka rose and padded into the kitchen. Shikamaru found himself watching his fellow teacher, smiling a little. Iruka was a truly lovely person; Shika had always admired him. Of course, he was firmly taken. You didn't mess with Hatake Kakashi, the sharingan copy-ninja's boyfriend and hope to live through the experience. But it never hurt to look…right?

…

Iruka sighed and shoved yet another test into the 'done' pile. Glancing over, he grinned. Shika was staring intently at an essay test, his dark eyes flicking through the words and a slightly contemptuous look on his face. There was a streak of ink on his nose; Iruka almost, but not quite, reached out to smudge it off. Damn. He was so…well, cute wasn't really the word, Iruka thought with a sigh. Hot. Sexy. Damn good looking?

Stop that. He shook his head and reached out for his coffee. Kakashi would not be amused.

That made him laugh, drawing Shika's attention to him. Shika raised his eyebrow questioningly, but Iruka only shook his head and reached for his coffee.

"Crap. What time is it?" Shikamaru asked, stretching his aching back. "I'm really tired of this."

"We're almost done." Iruka laughed and glanced at the clock. "But it is late. I wonder where Kakashi is?"

Shika laughed. "He's out drinking with Asuma. I bet they're smashed."

Iruka sighed. "Probably."

As if they'd been summoned, the front door was opened with slightly unnecessary force and Asuma's voice hollered out. "Ruuuuka! We're home, sweetheart!"

Shika laughed. Iruka sighed.

Kakashi stumbled into the room and threw his arms around Iruka, snuggling his face into Iruka's shoulder. "Hey 'Ruka-Ru!"

"Hello, Kakashi." Iruka wrapped his arms around Kakashi to keep him from listing to the side and gave Shika a long-suffering look. "Have a good time, did we?"

"Of course." Asuma laughed and plopped down next to Shika, leaning against his boyfriend. "It would have been better if you guys had been there, of course."

"Of course." Shikamaru sighed and braced himself, giving Asuma a sideways look. "You're heavy, you jerk."

Kakashi laughed. Then he clutched his stomach, looking alarmed. "I think I'm gunna…"

"Don't you DARE!" Iruka yelped and grabbed his boyfriend, dragging him out of the room towards the toilet.

As soon as they were gone, Asuma immediately turned and started nuzzling Shika, grabbing the younger man's hips and pulling him onto his lap.

"Asuma, knock it off!" Shika griped, trying to push Asuma's hands off his hips. Asuma was determined, however, and before Shikamaru could protest further, he found himself straddling a very amorous Asuma's lap.

"Mmm…you taste so good." Asuma murmured, tipping Shika's head to the side so he could lick and nibble Shika's neck.

Shika groaned despite himself and clutched Asuma's shoulders, his mind fogging. "Damn it, Asuma…we're in Iruka and Kakashi's living room, and they're in the bathroom. They could…ahh…come back any time!"

"So?" Asuma bit his neck, and then sucked at the spot. "Besides, if I know Kakashi as well as I think I do, he'll probably be molesting Iruka in about a minute." Asuma laughed and grabbed Shika's hips again, sliding him further into his lap. Shika gave another involuntary moan as he felt Asuma's erection, already hard and ready, slide across his own.

Asuma stilled his hips and nibbled on Shika's neck again, teasing, driving Shikamaru crazy. Growling under his breath, Shika began rocking his hips, hissing in pleasure as the movement caused delicious friction.

…

Kakashi didn't throw up. Iruka patted his back and sighed.

Kakashi stood and rinsed his mouth out, grimacing. "Don't know why I drink beer; it always leaves a gross aftertaste." He reached into the cupboard and withdrew his toothbrush and toothpaste. With only a little swearing and a lot more backrubs, Kakashi managed to brush his own teeth.

Yay for him, Iruka thought with a grin.

Suddenly Kakashi grabbed him and pressed him against the wall, smashing his lips onto Iruka's. Iruka yelped and Kakashi laughed, nuzzling him.

"Kashi…" Iruka said fondly, bringing his hands up to run through the other man's silvery hair. "Behave. We have guests."

"They can wait a couple of minutes." Kakashi growled. Then he pressed himself against Iruka, capturing the chuunin's lips in a scorching kiss.

When they broke apart, Iruka was panting slightly. "What's got you so riled up?" He joked, tugging at Kakashi's hair. "Asuma being provocative again?"

Kakashi laughed and rolled his hips, drawing a soft gasp from Iruka. "Mmm. No. I've been thinking of you all evening." He was telling the truth. Mostly.

"Kashi…" Iruka sighed and reluctantly pushed his lover away from him. "Let's get rid of our guests as nicely as possible." He purred, drawing another soft laugh from Kakashi.

"Ok." Kakashi sighed. Then they walked out of the hallway and into the living room…

…to see Shikamaru 'riding' Asuma, his fingers digging into Asuma's shoulders as Asuma met his thrusts, his fingers sliding under Shika's shirt to play with his nipples.

"Oh…" Iruka gasped, stopping abruptly.

"Wha…oooh…" Kakashi stopped behind Iruka, grinning. "Mmm. That's fucking…"

"Shh!" Iruka said frantically. "Back up, quick…"

"Why?" Kakashi wrapped his arms around Iruka and pulled him backward into his body, fitting Iruka's sweet ass against his straining erection. Iruka struggled, but Kakashi held him tightly, leaning over to nibble on Iruka's ear. "Shh. Let's watch."

"Kakaashi…" Iruka whined softly. "This isn't…I mean…It's not _right_."

"Why?" Kakashi leaned over further and took Iruka's earlobe in his mouth, sucking and nibbling it gently for a moment. "Why? It's _our_ living room they're doing this in. They _know_ we're here. Why isn't it right to watch?"

Iruka huffed softly and leaned into Kakashi, his eyes focused on Shikamaru. "Uhm…" He knew it wasn't right, but he was finding it harder to remember exactly why as Shikamaru's motions sped up, his face tightening.

Suddenly Asuma pushed Shika off him. Before Shika could react, Asuma flipped him and pushed him into the couch. Asuma's fingers quickly undid the ties on Shika's pants and Shika gasped as Asuma pulled them off, exposing his throbbing erection.

Iruka and Kakashi gasped too. Luckily the two on the couch were too occupied to notice their audience. Asuma leaned over and licked the head of Shika's cock, making Shika moan and arch his back, his eyes glued to Asuma.

Kakashi let his hands drift lower on Iruka's hips and slipped one under the waistband of Iruka's pants. Iruka didn't seem to notice. He was panting slightly, his teeth nibbling on his lower lip. Kakashi dipped his hand lower and brushed it against Iruka's erection.

Iruka gasped and bucked backward, grinding his ass into Kakashi's crotch. Kakashi grinned into his lover's neck and fisted his hand around Iruka's erection as Asuma took Shika into his mouth, making Shika cry out in pleasure and buck up into Asuma's mouth.

Asuma started bobbing up and down, his cheeks hollowing with suction as his tongue swirled around Shika's cock. Kakashi matched Asuma's rhythm on Iruka's erection, craning his head to kiss and suck Iruka's neck. Iruka moaned and raised his hand to his mouth, biting down on his knuckle to try and muffle the noises that were trying to spill from his mouth as his lover jacked him while he watched an incredibly sexy Shika get a blowjob from Asuma.

Suddenly, Asuma looked up and grinned. "You two should come over here where it's more comfortable. Besides, you can't see all the good parts over there."

Shikamaru tipped his head back and gave them a look crossed between amusement and embarrassment. Iruka blushed brightly, but a gentle tug from Kakashi's fingers on his erection knocked the fight out of him.

Grinning widely, Kakashi picked up Iruka and walked him over to the couch. Shikamaru wiggled over and made room, and Iruka was deposited beside him.

"Pants. Off." Kakashi growled. Iruka, after giving him a wide-eyed look, hastily obeyed him. Then Kakashi knelt spread his legs, and slid in to kiss Iruka's throbbing cock.

Asuma grinned and started back in on Shika as Kakashi took Iruka fully into his mouth. Iruka gasped and bucked into Kakashi's mouth, his head falling to the side to watch Asuma's lips caress Shika's cock.

Then Shika leaned over and kissed him. After a single moment's shock, Iruka returned the kiss, parting his lips and allowing Shika's tongue to slip into his mouth, probing and tasting.

Asuma sat back, replacing his mouth with his hand on Shika's cock so he could watch Iruka and Shika kissing. Kakashi joined him, idly reaching his hand over to play with Asuma's cock. Asuma made a soft sound of appreciation and returned the favor.

Finally, Asuma shifted and gave Kakashi an evil grin. "Wanna switch?"

"Hell yes." Kakashi said cheerfully.

They let go and switched places. Asuma bent over and sucked the soft tip of Iruka's erection, his tongue probing at the slick hole. Kakashi decided not to play around and took Shika's entire length into his mouth, thrumming his tongue on the underside of Shika's cock and making Shika arch violently, nearly biting Iruka's lip. Not to be outdone, Asuma deep-throated Iruka and swallowed around his member, making Iruka nearly scream.

Kakashi pulled off, looking a little dazed. "Fuck. I can't take much more…"

"Me either." Asuma grinned. "Which one?"

"This is good." Kakashi grinned back. They both rose and repositioned the two younger men, laying them side by side. Asuma reached over and grabbed Kakashi, slamming his mouth over the pale man's lips. They battled for dominance, their tongues thrusting and sliding over each other's.

Iruka turned and lifted his fingers to Shika's mouth. Shika blinked a moment, then smiled lazily and took them into his mouth, sucking and licking them, putting his own fingers into Iruka's. Then they both sat up and awkwardly impaled a finger in each other's holes.

"F..fuck." Asuma muttered. Kissing Kakashi was instantly forgotten as he watched the two chuunin fingering each other, whimpering and bucking as they slowly inserted another finger. Kakashi made a soft, almost whining noise, his mouth falling open in utter lust.

They both broke at the same time. Removing the chuunin's fingers, Asuma and Kakashi impaled themselves onto their willing lovers. Asuma set the rhythm hard and rough, and Kakashi joined him, slamming into Shika's ass.

Shika panted and gasped, broken words stuttering out of his mouth. Iruka simply howled, his fingers clawing at the bed sheets. The combination was too much for the jounins; almost simultaneously, they cried out and buried themselves to the hilt, releasing themselves. Shika and Iruka spasmed and exploded, Iruka nearly braining Shika with a flying fist as their seed spattered all over the two jounins chests.

Kakashi collapsed first, pulling out of Shika with an exhausted moan. Asuma waited a moment, trying to catch his breath before he fainted. Then he joined them, squirming until he was stretched out beside Iruka. They lay in a tangle of bodies and limbs, panting, touching with gentle fingers and lazy kisses.

Finally, Iruka sighed and tipped his head to claim a kiss from his now-smug looking Kashi. "You planned this, didn't you?" he said quietly.

Asuma chuckled and kissed Iruka's stomach, sending a shiver through the tanned man. "Of course we did."

"Good plan. Worthy of one of mine." Shika's voice was thin and weak.

Iruka bust out laughing. Asuma leaned over Iruka to bite his boyfriend's shoulder and Kakashi just sighed and laid his head on Shika's stomach.

"Shit." Iruka muttered. "I don't think I can walk. Ever again."

"Me either." Shika said. "Do we have to?"

"Eventually." Kakashi reached down and pulled the blanket over them, then sighed and snuggled back into Shika. "But let's sleep first."

"Sleep is goo.." Asuma nodded off in mid word.

Iruka snickered and closed his eyes. The last thing he heard was Kakashi's voice. "Damn. Jiraiya's gunna give me a full _set_ of Icha books for this…"

Note to self, Iruka thought muzzily. Must kill Kakashi tomorrow…

…


End file.
